So tommorrow morning I am off to the motherland. I can' t wait and am excited as hell. Its the longest trip i've ever taken, two whole months and one little suitcase. I hope to hell that i don't end up sitting next to some obnoxious smelly guy on the plane. I think I've had enough of smelly people.
Flying is fine, its just so damn stuffy inside. Recycled air from a hundred people. Terrible food. I wish they'd give you the whole damn can instead of these flimsy plastic cups that invariably end up tipping over onto somebody's lap making the entire trip miserable for one poor sod. I guess I've been lucky enough to fly to lots of places so I've got a routine.
-Show up only an hour or so ahead of time. You will get to bypass the line, especially if it is long. If you show up early you just end up having to wait forever with screaming brats anyway.
-Bring/buy something to read. As long as its not a library book or one that you've borrowed. I think I lost Locke library's copy of B.I.G to the gap between the seat and the wall somewhere over the gulf of mexico.
-Sleep. The trick to doing this is to be massively hung over. Then nothing will really matter, so long as you want to pass out into oblivion. I once had a rather large party at my place but still managed to kick everyone out in the moring, do laundry, clean up and get on a plane to portugal while still intoxicated from the previous night.
-Drink lots on the plane. This also works. Makes everything go much much more easily.
-Smile and feign ignorance at all customs people. Works like a frickin charm even on usually scowly female agents. Even if by some lottery they decide to search your stuff, it will be quick and cursory. Sometimes they even fill out the undecipherable forms for you.
Also of interest Barf Bag Collection
Flying is fine, its just so damn stuffy inside. Recycled air from a hundred people. Terrible food. I wish they'd give you the whole damn can instead of these flimsy plastic cups that invariably end up tipping over onto somebody's lap making the entire trip miserable for one poor sod. I guess I've been lucky enough to fly to lots of places so I've got a routine.
-Show up only an hour or so ahead of time. You will get to bypass the line, especially if it is long. If you show up early you just end up having to wait forever with screaming brats anyway.
-Bring/buy something to read. As long as its not a library book or one that you've borrowed. I think I lost Locke library's copy of B.I.G to the gap between the seat and the wall somewhere over the gulf of mexico.
-Sleep. The trick to doing this is to be massively hung over. Then nothing will really matter, so long as you want to pass out into oblivion. I once had a rather large party at my place but still managed to kick everyone out in the moring, do laundry, clean up and get on a plane to portugal while still intoxicated from the previous night.
-Drink lots on the plane. This also works. Makes everything go much much more easily.
-Smile and feign ignorance at all customs people. Works like a frickin charm even on usually scowly female agents. Even if by some lottery they decide to search your stuff, it will be quick and cursory. Sometimes they even fill out the undecipherable forms for you.
Also of interest Barf Bag Collection
posted by theMak at 10:00 p.m.
3 Comments:
disclaimer: flying tips not applicable to arabs. also, you can tell a lot about people from a certain country by the etiquette they exhibit on their home airline. my observation: lebanese people and jordanian people are dirtbags.
Excellent! Congratulations on your voyage to the homeland. Where are you staying in HK? Do lots of shopping, eat lots of seafood and go for a walk in the early morning, like at 6.30 am when you're still jetlagged and can't sleep. It's like a completely different city with empty streets and no traffic.
so how do arabs fly?? is there a specific way to bend over for a rectal exam? please enlighten me
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